In context of our conversation about verbal abuse, one brave soul confided: “I spanked my daughter when she wouldn’t behave, and it worked. I’ve decided to keep spanking her.”
Certainly, spanking your child could reduce, even eliminate, whatever behavior is:
- driving you nuts;
- embarrassing you in public or in front of relatives; and/or
- preventing you from doing what you want to do, finally, for ten minutes, finally, to yourself.
Yep, spanking might work. While they are young and small.
The problem is, a child is destined to grow. Their sense of self and their personal power will strengthen. Each and every hit lays down a layer of fear on the child’s part, fear that is matched or exceeded by anger. Compile those layers like a lasagna, and the child is likely to:
- short-term take out their anger on smaller siblings and/or friends. This does not make for a child who is asked back for playdates. This makes for a lonely child; and
- long-term realize she or he no longer fears you. Good luck to you, in those teen years.
So let’s stop whacking them around, shall we? When I want to smack a child, I make sure to put the child in a safe place and keep at least ten feet between the little shit and myself. I keep the distance until I can again see that child as acting their age in response to a situation set up by the adult in charge.
Should I be the alleged adult allegedly in charge, I apologize.