“I spank my kid.”

In context of our conversation about verbal abuse, one brave soul confided: I spanked my daughter when she wouldn’t behave, and it worked. I’ve decided to keep spanking her.”

Certainly, spanking your child could reduce, even eliminate, whatever behavior is:

  • driving you nuts;
  • embarrassing you in public or in front of relatives; and/or
  • preventing you from doing what you want to do, finally, for ten minutes, finally, to yourself.

Yep, spanking might work. While they are young and small.

The problem is, a child is destined to grow. Their sense of self and their personal power will strengthen. Each and every hit lays down a layer of fear on the child’s part, fear that is matched or exceeded by anger. Compile those layers like a lasagna, and the child is likely to:

  • short-term take out their anger on smaller siblings and/or friends. This does not make for a child who is asked back for playdates. This makes for a lonely child; and
  • long-term realize she or he no longer fears you. Good luck to you, in those teen years.

So let’s stop whacking them around, shall we? When I want to smack a child, I make sure to put the child in a safe place and keep at least ten feet between the little shit and myself. I keep the distance until I can again see that child as acting their age in response to a situation set up by the adult in charge.

Should I be the alleged adult allegedly in charge, I apologize.

Here is a good anti-spank resource, and here is another. And still one more.

Author: allehall

I am a writer. I write to explore childhood: literary essays and short fiction, journalism, and three haiku. My published work expresses my belief that everything which did or did not happen to me as a child is manifesting in everything that is or is not happening to me today. More importantly, it is also manifesting for my children. I believe funny is the new navel-gazing, and that the best funny keeps a penny's worth of serious in an accessible pocket. Little-known fact: I have a completed novel decorating the inside of a desk drawer. Perhaps it is not funny enough.

One thought on ““I spank my kid.””

  1. Agreed. I was spanked as a child and one unjust spanking (i.e. for something I did not do but stood falsely accused) is perhaps my clearest memory from childhood, certainly one of the top five clearest of my father (perhaps because he cried with remorse when he realized I was not the culprit) despite the fact that I was really quite young when it happened.

    It never occurred to me until I actually had children that there was a way to keep children in line without hitting them. And then I learned that hey, there is: love.

    funny. I’ve never spanked my kids to get them to behave. I hit my older son once, with my hand, on his bare bottom. We both knew I did it because I was angry and there was no other way to get ME to behave — and appease my anger at his failure to cooperate with my agenda.

    I prefer the love.

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