For writers, one of the best things about traveling is that someone else does all the cooking. Writers are supposed to be creatures upon whom no detail is lost. With apologies to Henry James, I will proceed to take our vacation expenses off my taxes.
Observation #1: Girl (perhaps 3) screaming head off in wave pool.
Father: “You are not scared. You are not scared. C’mon. You are not scared.”
Made up: Your father is human.
Observation #2: Girl (perhaps 13) wearing false eyelashes. In a hot tub. Carefully checks lashes after each and every dunk.
Made up: Your mother is epically screwy.
Observation #3: Dad (perhaps Dad-aged) reprimanding Misbehaving Tot: “Don’t ever do that again!!”
Note: in the original post, I made up that both mother and father were idiots. This revision better suits the tenure of this blog. I am still debating the whole motherfucking thing.