About Childhood’s Nowhere-Near-Annual Frozen Fish Head Haiku Contest: Submission Info Part 1

 wELL-WRItTEN sUBMiSION iNfO Part 1

A previous year’s photo prompt. What will this year’s hold? I CAN’T STAND THE TENSION.

Submission Fee: Zero. Zip. Nada.

  • All entrants are begged to subscribe to the excellent blog About Childhood: Answers for Writers, Parents, and Former Children, or
  • to “friend” Alle C. Hall on Facebook.
  • Or both. It’s good for your health.
  • Current subscribers to and Facebook followers of the above are exempt.

The Gates of Submission open February 28st, 2014.

  • February is National Haiku Month. Who knew?
  • On February 10th, 2014, the 2014 photo prompt will be posted on:
    • the excellent About Childhood: Answers for Writers, Parents, and Former Children; and
    • the Facebook page of Alle C. Hall.
  • If a poet can demonstrate that s/he forwarded, “Shared,” or re-posted the call, the poet may submit a second entry. More below, under Rules.

 All entries must be received by midnight, March 17th, 2014, PST.
Please don’t make me bust you for not following the rules. I spend enough time busting my children.

Winners will be announced on April 17th, 2014.
Because April is National Poetry Month.

The Rules.

  1. Submit original work. No cheating, you bastards.
  2. Each poet may enter only once.
  3. If you demonstrate that you forwarded or re-posted the call, you may submit a second entry.
  4. Each entry may consist of up to three haiku. Make ‘em funny.
  5. If you have a series that is more than three haiku but is not The Iliad, send it along.
  6. In such an instance, do your best to strong-arm one other person to subscribe as described above. To subscribe them is good for your parking Karma.
  7. All submission must be in English or Esperanto. I don’t understand Esperanto. You increase your chances of winning if you submit an English-language haiku.
  8. Too much swearing is fucking gross.
  9. Previously published work is permitted. (Al Gore-style sigh.)
  10. As are multiple submissions. Just the usual stuff about being polite if you win something more lucrative or luminous than About Childhood’s Nowhere-Near-Annual Frozen Fish Head Haiku Contest. (Should there be such a thing)
  11. Be as anonymous as possible, given that one submits by e-mail.
  12. You can bet I’ll check if you’re a subscriber or friend. Most journals do this; who are we kidding?

Send your hilarious haiku to theonlyallehall@gmail.com.
By March 17th, 2014. Or you’re busted.

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Author: allehall

I am a writer. I write to explore childhood: literary essays and short fiction, journalism, and three haiku. My published work expresses my belief that everything which did or did not happen to me as a child is manifesting in everything that is or is not happening to me today. More importantly, it is also manifesting for my children. I believe funny is the new navel-gazing, and that the best funny keeps a penny's worth of serious in an accessible pocket. Little-known fact: I have a completed novel decorating the inside of a desk drawer. Perhaps it is not funny enough.

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