Appropos of Nothing: The Perfect Writer-Parent’s Lunch

Yum. Yam.

In a new segement we shall call (see above; not the part about lunch):  Yam ‘n Cheese.

INGREDIENTS

  • One yam: as half as big as you are hungry
  • Slightly less cheese, very sharp.

DiRECTIONS

  1. Nuke, bake, or steam yam until just soft all over. Poke to ascertain softness.
  2. Remove from heat, top with cheese, and cover.
  3. Let sit until cheese melts, or nuke it melty.
  4. Round off the meal with a cup of brisk, hot, black  tea. Sweeten it with vanilla soy milk to avoid using too much sweetener.

The sharp cheese offsets the sometimes-too-sweet yam. Bracing tea will fire you up for the afternoon of children, writing, or both (if you are lucky).

Madonna is dangerous for girls.


Material Girl

Continuing from my review of “Madonna & Me” in PLOP! Review:

The 2007 report by the American Psychological Association about the sexualization of young girls by the media (discussed in my review) states that the culture of pink and princess marketed directly to girls and its “emphasis on beauty and play-sexiness can increase girls’ susceptibility to depression, eating disorders, distorted body image, and risky sexual behavior.”

Know which other subsection of girls exhibit the same susceptibility? Survivors of child sex abuse.

When children are imbued with adult sexuality, it is often imposed upon them rather than chosen by them.

The above is from the section of the APA report, yet reads like it was taken from a book I once gave the man I eventually married. That book was a manual for the parents and partners of sex abuse survivors.

As did the book I gave my now-husband, the APA report outlines the components of sexualization that distinguish it from healthy sexuality. With extraordinary similarity to the book, the APA report states:

Sexualization occurs when:

  • a person’s value comes only from his or her sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion  of other characteristics;
  • a person is held to a standard that equates physical attractiveness (narrowly defined) with being sexy;
  • a person is sexually objectified—that is, made into a thing for others’ sexual use, rather than seen as a person with the capacity for independent action and decision making; and/or
  • sexuality is inappropriately imposed upon a person.

All four conditions need not be present; any one is an indication of sexualization.

WWMD pencils …

Deliberately marketed infatuations with Disney princesses lead girls to equally marketed infatuations with Disney Channel’s “tween” stars such as Britney Spears, Lyndsay Lohan, and Miley Cirus. Beyond teaching girls to pine for Prince Charming, beyond teen pregnancy, beyond convincing kids that fame and excess are their birthright, beyond just being a really bad look, fluffy pinks lead to a hardened sexuality projected by children who have yet to feel their own sexual impulses.

… and bracelet.

Lyndsay’s mom, Dinah Lohan; Miley’s dad, Billy Ray Cyrus; they exploit their daughters’ sexuality. The clinical term is emotional sexual abuse.

Does this mean that when regular ol’ non-famous parents establish environments where girls are encouraged to turn otherwise healthy sexual exploration into a public act, that they are committing emotional sexual abuse?

Madonna teaser!

On Monday, PLOP! Review will publish my review of a new anthology, Madonna & Me: Women Writers On The Queen of Pop. Behold, a teaser:

Jan, 2011: on “Toddlers & Tiaras”, a 2-year-old literally stripped out of a white robe, revealing the above, then danced to “Material Girl.” She won.


For more than a decade, psychologists, parents, and child advocacy organizations such as Common Sense Media have expressed alarm over the hyper-sexualization of young women in the media for the explicit purpose of making money. Writers such as Lyn Mikel Brown (Packaging Girlhood) and Diane E. Levin (Too Sexy Too Soon) have made it part of conventional parenting wisdom that advertisers target children.

In her 2001 book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Peggy Orenstein was the first to connect the dots between a little girl’s devotion to all things princess-like and the emotional jeopardy of a sexual attitude developed too soon. A 2007 report by the American Psychological Association went on to demonstrate the jeopardy posed to girls’ happiness, self-esteem, sexual health, and academic performance as they learn to project a hardened sexuality before experiencing any sexual feelings of their own.

You’ll never guess the rock star to whom Orenstein traces the trend.

Laura Barcella, the editor of Madonna & Me, counts herself a proud, Madonna-in-her-living-room fan since age six. It comes as no surprise that many of her contributors also write about imitating Madonna’s sexual acting out as six-year-olds. While no one can specify what is too soon to be sexy, I don’t need an APA report to know that six years old is too soon.

It floors me that Madonna & Me does not address the obvious question posed by Madonna’s popularity and power: is Madonna good for girls?

(Continued in my piece on PLOP! In the meanwhile: if you can stomach it, you can watch the 2-year-old’s Madonna routine here.)

Real-life quotes about Who’s That Girl, and for no particular reason, my interview with Leonard Nimoy.

Who is that girl?

From Makes Own Kombucha, Age 49:

“Madonna? You mean, the singer Madonna?”

From Just Married!, age 25:

“She just doesn’t seem all that relevant. I mean, it’s ok to do all that stuff (evocative twirling gesture with hands) when you are in your twenties.”

From Lemon Pasta, aged 38:

“I just got MDNA. It’s OK, but I will defend it to the death because it is Madonna.”

On May 7th, the literary magazine PLOP! Review will publish my review of the new anthology Madonna and Me: Women Writers on The Queen of Pop (Soft Skull Press, 2012).

Assigned readings:

Hope is the reason we have children.

I had the phrase in mind as I put together my submission to the SheWrites Passion Project. The phrase is not in my submission. I submitted the concept of hope being the reason; the only element of sanity, really, if you examine the facts of family from a cost/benefit perspective. We hope to create something better than our experience. Perhaps because a parent’s wants and needs by definition must fall second to keeping a child alive and thriving, often unsaid is the idea that in the attempt to create something better, we experience the joy of the attempt.

These thought arrived this AM, during a Feldenkrais session. I was working with my upper back and felt a long-in-coming truth about a connection between the belly muscles, upper back, and shoulder.

I didn’t think, “Back, shoulder, belly.” I thought, “Most truth comes quietly.”

Latest essay a big hit! Subtitle: Readers respond.

Lovely responses to The Buddhism of Baseball, mostly from readers I don’t even know.  In order of appearance:

  • “You had me laughing, admiring your writing, and then getting all teared up. Sheesh, girl, you have some catastrophic writing skeels! OMG I wanna be you when I grow up. Even though I am unsubscribing from like every email I get, I signed right up, quick as a bunny, to receive your crisp and lively missives.”  Julie Genovese, Nothing Short of Joy.
  • “Nice essay. I’m still defragging. I must be running on motherfucking Windows.” Dave Gilbert.
  • “A great swirl of themes in a compact package. Fantastic.” Susan Barrett PricePassion and Peril on the Silk Road.
  • “Dear Alle: I gasped and choked at your last words. Wow. I do love your essay. Your thinking. Your persistence. Your survival. As I am yet another person wound up in the web of your ability to love, I am thankful.” Chris.