Seeking: Photograph

I’m looking for a photograph to use a the writing prompt for this year’s Comic Haiku contest. A previous photo can be found here, but here’s a hint of the kind of humor I like-hilarity with an edge:

frozen fish head 2

For questions, or to submit a photo, please contact me at theonlyallehall@gmail.com.

For more information regarding About Childhood’s Not-Nearly Annual Frozen Fish Head Comic, please see the tab “Haiku Contest,” above.

Haiku Contest: Honorable Mentions

BEST USE OF LANGUAGE – a tie between Michelle and Daniel, both in 6th period.

 

team turned up all day

yo chick mad all in my face

always fly, get cake

by Michelle

 

the Don freaky

been banging he got white tees

always too freaky

by Daniel

 

 

BEST LITERARY REFERENCE  – Ngoc Nguyen

 

Fifty Shades of Grey

husband reads wife’s new copy—

needs a cold shower!

 

 

BEST USE OF GENDER FLUIDITY – Dr Koshy A.V.

 

Publushter* Cherry

Speaks English like cold curry!

Showers with shaver!

 

Publushter Cherry

looks foxy, names books unread!

Water can’t wash him clean

 

Publushter Cherry

lies he “did” women (in)!

Shower gel stinker!

 

Publushter Cherry

interviewed recently

by Shaver Swish!

 

 

BEST IN TRANSLATION – István Nagy

 

If saddens the winter,

think onto

snow battles of childhood.

 

(Originally written in Hungarian; translated by István Nagy)

 

 

BEST USE OF SIMPLICITY – Phillip Larrea

 

We sent our thoughts, prayers

It was the least we could do …

So that’s what we did.

 

 

MOST ELEGANT – Ndaba Sibanda

 

Missing

 

She said

it loudly and

proudly:

 

I miss you like

bees miss

some honey

 

Want to take

to you like

duck to water

 

You draw me

to you like

moth to light

 

You are my cake

my cup of tea

my little sugar

 

*  *  *

Again, my thanks to the many who put their time and energy into their entries.

Tomorrow, check back to read the Honorable Mentions in the “New to Haiku” category.

See this page for The Grand Prize, 2nd and 3rd Place winners. Haiku on!

 

*  *  *

 

*Portmanteau word (from the Publushter* Cherry Series by Dr Koshy A.V.)

A word formed by merging the sounds and meanings of two or more other words. Also known as a blend. The term was coined by English writer Lewis Carroll in Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There (1871).

Haiku Contest: Grand Prize, 2nd & 3rd Places

GRAND PRIZE – Neil Ruddy

 

Norman Bates washes

away all traces of the

women in his life

 

 

2ND PLACE – Allen McNealy

 

I had this dream where

I sneezed and a fire broke

out in my navel.

 

 

3RD PLACE – Elizabeth Catalano

 

Longtime fantasy

Reenactment realized

Gary was Flashdance!

 

*    *    *

Thank you to all who entered. You made my work fabulously arduous.

Over the next few posts, we will better get to know our winners.

Tomorrow, check back to read the winning Honorable Mentions, and the winners in the “New to Writing Haiku” category. Haiku on!

 

 

 

 

About Childhood’s Nowhere-Near-Annual Frozen Fish Head Haiku Contest: Submission Info Part 1

 wELL-WRItTEN sUBMiSION iNfO Part 1

A previous year’s photo prompt. What will this year’s hold? I CAN’T STAND THE TENSION.

Submission Fee: Zero. Zip. Nada.

  • All entrants are begged to subscribe to the excellent blog About Childhood: Answers for Writers, Parents, and Former Children, or
  • to “friend” Alle C. Hall on Facebook.
  • Or both. It’s good for your health.
  • Current subscribers to and Facebook followers of the above are exempt.

The Gates of Submission open February 28st, 2014.

  • February is National Haiku Month. Who knew?
  • On February 10th, 2014, the 2014 photo prompt will be posted on:
    • the excellent About Childhood: Answers for Writers, Parents, and Former Children; and
    • the Facebook page of Alle C. Hall.
  • If a poet can demonstrate that s/he forwarded, “Shared,” or re-posted the call, the poet may submit a second entry. More below, under Rules.

 All entries must be received by midnight, March 17th, 2014, PST.
Please don’t make me bust you for not following the rules. I spend enough time busting my children.

Winners will be announced on April 17th, 2014.
Because April is National Poetry Month.

The Rules.

  1. Submit original work. No cheating, you bastards.
  2. Each poet may enter only once.
  3. If you demonstrate that you forwarded or re-posted the call, you may submit a second entry.
  4. Each entry may consist of up to three haiku. Make ‘em funny.
  5. If you have a series that is more than three haiku but is not The Iliad, send it along.
  6. In such an instance, do your best to strong-arm one other person to subscribe as described above. To subscribe them is good for your parking Karma.
  7. All submission must be in English or Esperanto. I don’t understand Esperanto. You increase your chances of winning if you submit an English-language haiku.
  8. Too much swearing is fucking gross.
  9. Previously published work is permitted. (Al Gore-style sigh.)
  10. As are multiple submissions. Just the usual stuff about being polite if you win something more lucrative or luminous than About Childhood’s Nowhere-Near-Annual Frozen Fish Head Haiku Contest. (Should there be such a thing)
  11. Be as anonymous as possible, given that one submits by e-mail.
  12. You can bet I’ll check if you’re a subscriber or friend. Most journals do this; who are we kidding?

Send your hilarious haiku to theonlyallehall@gmail.com.
By March 17th, 2014. Or you’re busted.

About Childhood’s Nowhere-Near-Annual Frozen Fish Head Haiku Contest Submission Info Part 2

wELL-WRItTEN sUBMiSION iNfO Part 2

Read previous winner: http://wp.me/psSjA-rJ
Read previous winner: http://wp.me/psSjA-rJ

Cash prize: $17.*

  • Not so generous, say you? Consider your rate per word.
  • Particularly in comparison to your entrance fee. (Zero. Zip. Nada.)

*The number of syllables in a haiku.

 

Prizes

  1. The winner will receive $17. Don’t spend it all in once place—as if you could.
  2. Five to seven additional haiku will be selected—2nd Place, 3rd Place, and up to five honorable mentions.
  3. The winning and haiku and author will be feted on About Childhood: Answers for Writers, Parents, and Former Children, as well as on the Facebook page of the once and gentle Alle C. Hall.
  4. Runners up and honorable mentions will be honorably mentioned and … run up. Also on About Childhood and Facebook.
  5. About Childhood will alert all media, up to and including The New Yorker. Why not? We take comic haiku seriously around here.  

Who can enter:

Anyone other than Officers, Associates and Board Members of About Childhood and her immediate family. I wouldn’t want you the think I play favorites.

 

The Judge

Me.

Send your hilarious haiku to theonlyallehall@gmail.com.
By March 17th, 2014. Or you’re busted.