Calls, News, & Reviews The Glam

There will be a Comic Haiku Contest this year.

Read previous winner:
Read 2014 winners

About Childhood’s 2016

Not Nearly Annual

Frozen Fishhead Comic Haiku Contest


I’ll announce the photo prompt in April, following which it will be open season for one month. Please do not write to the decapitated fish prompt. The fish head is the contest’s famed moniker.

The rules and fan-ta-bulous prize money will be the same as in previous years. The photo prompt will be different.

Step up to the bar and check under “Haiku.” Not much will change except (TO REPEAT) the dates and the photo prompt. That said, brush off those 17 syllables, and keep me in mind:




About Writing Calls, News, & Reviews Read Alle's work The Glam

Give me your funky / Your impudent Tokyo / Hot nightlife haiku.

I am a sassy-pants, no doubt, but when it comes to my funny, I am a serious lady.

When it comes to haiku, I am not a fan of the “Oh, fleet, flying crane” variety. The world needs those haiku. Take heart: there are waaaaaay more outlets for your work than there are Not-Nearly-Annual Frozen Fish Head contests.

For our purposes, you are required to knock my socks off with your hai-larity. However, while I am all for “just” being funny, haiku works best for me when:

  • each of the poem’s three phrases presents a stand-alone image that, in context of the poem’s story, evokes what haiku poet Alexey Andreyev calls “certain bright moments of life”—quixotic, troubling, deeply tender, or simply a flash of time whose specificity caught your attention; and
  • the juxtaposition of images in the first and second phrases create friction that sets up a big-bang finish. The idea is to initiate a circular pattern, drawing reader back to the beginning of the poem.

If you can be funny while doing this, you can do anything.

I'm ot of yellowLet’s Talk 5-7-5

The 5-7-5 rhyme scheme is a big debate in the haiku universe. Do the constraints provide a certain freedom, or are they just constraints?  We at Frozen Fish Head will play Switzerland on the issue. Focus more on letting the writing prompt unfurl your funny flag. However, for the record:

Japanese haiku doesn’t count syllables. The three phrases are more like: short-ish, longer, short-ish. The syllable thing is an American construct. Brian P. Cleary’s classic, “Report Card” is the go-to example:

Four days of the year,
One tiny piece of paper
Turns my stomach sour.

Funny. Would it win? I think you could do better. Let’s examine a few more.

A few years back, an Austin writer-mama named Kari Anne Roy came out with her book, Haiku Mama. Check out this gem:

Red leaves on tree
poop in the diaper.
It’s the holidays!

Boom. Each line here presents a single image; in the case of the second line, a striking and original one (if you go for that sort of thing). Without inserting herself into the poem, Roy conveys a mama-specific perspective. She even slips in a “season word,” the word that traditionally created a backdrop (often from nature) for the “haiku event.” (Contemporary haiku has moved toward an urban aesthetic; THANK GOD. Flying cranes: boo.)

Unfortunately, the majority of Roy’s work settles for what I am absolutely uninterested in: mere thoughts wrestled into the requisite five-seven-five:

Tennis ball in sock
sad yet apt description of
post-nursing boobies.

If a poet has but 17 syllables, “sad yet apt description of” wastes seven. Give me a second image to equal “Tennis ball in sock,” driving to “post-nursing boobies.” I want one of the same caliber as one Roy uses elsewhere, and smashingly so, to describe her tush: “Small, like fresh ham steak.”

So, do that, and you win. Good hunting.

About Writing Calls, News, & Reviews The Glam

Your Writing Prompt for Nowhere-Near-Annual Frozen Fish Head Haiku Contest


Read the rules.

About Writing Calls, News, & Reviews The Glam

Win This Contest: Be Funny for Me.

Dear God. Why could I not have written this? You are dead to me. Heart, Alle.
My God, you give this gem to another? You are dead to me. Heart, Alle.
  1. The best funny includes a sense of humor.*
  2. Funny can be Stephen Colbert; funny can be Breaking Bad. Haiku-funny is evocative, not vulgar. Funny can be the guy who stays up all night sharing posts from The Onion. Funny can be that episode from the first season of the new Battlestar, where they mock themselves—which obviously went over like one of the bombs that decimated Earth, because the meme never resurfaced as if it were a Cylon in the Goo-bath. Do I sound as if I am at a convention?
  3. Funny can be you.
  4. Look at what I want in haiku. Look at the previous winning haiku. Kerri Buckley walked the line between hilarious and something else, something of meaning.

Read the Rules.

Follow this blog or follow Alle C. Hall on Facebook.

*The phrase “sense of humor” was coined by my funny-writing teacher, Brangien Davis, currently the Arts & Culture Editor at Seattle Magazine; also the founder of Swivel Magazine, a labor of love devoted to smart, funny writing by women.

About Publishing About Writing Calls, News, & Reviews The Glam

Poetry is coming. Your part, TBD.

white dove sings

More is being revealed.