With great thanks and enthusiasm for our many entries (you guys are funny!), please applaud the winning entry by Kerri Buckley:
People jump to—from
Underworlds, Heavens, watched by
Open mouth, glass eye
Kerri Buckley won First Place for Poetry in the 2009 Inland Empire California Writer’s Club’s (IECWC) Annual Poetry Contest. In 2010, she has poems in two anthologies: The Cento: A Collection of Collage Poems (Red Hen Press), and Chopin and Cherries—which sounds better than frozen fish head on concrete, hold the garnish.
(PS. Anyone up for making this an annual contest?)
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Previously, on “Japan, My Foot”:
We planned a day at Korakoen, one of Japan’s “Big Three” gardens. This would require somehow taking the wheelchair on the train from Kurashiki to Okayama. Kurashiki’s main station had no elevator and no escalator, only a steep staircase and four able-bodied railroad employees. They surrounded me, a precision drill team, turned my wheelchair around and carried me, in it, down the steep stairs. Backward.
“This is a little scary,” I told the team captain.
“Your Japanese is very good!”
The next obstacle: finding a bathroom.
Next to Okayama Station, in Daiei—a department store akin to K-Mart—we were happy to discover that the Japanese love of technology had affected even the wheelchair-accessible dumping grounds of low-end department stores. I pressed a large red button to open the door, rolled in, and pressed a large green button to close it. Cliff thought it would be funny to play a trick we often played on each other back home. He thought he’d turn the bathroom light off with me inside.
Unfortunately, instead of hitting the lights, my husband pressed the large red button. The door slid open, revealing me and my big, white butt.
I yowled as you might expect a person to, should she find herself in a foreign country with her anus on display. Flustered by the murderous caterwauling, Cliff proceeded to punch every button in sight. The door closed and the light shut off, leaving me in the pitch dark, half out of my chair.
These two travel like The Three Stooges. Wanna read more funny bumblings?