“Do you have a writing process that helps you juggle your writer/mother roles?”

I pay someone to watch my children. If I do not then sit down and write, I imagine throwing fifty bucks out a window.

Whether or not you have time to write, you can have in mind that slotting a time to write consistently—once a day, once a week, whatever you can manage—is as crucial as anything else in your life. It is a matter of patience, scheduling, prioritizing, and funding.

For writers who want to publish, that is a different matter entirely.

Mom-blogging goes corporate: This birthday brought to you by AT&T

    In response to this, reader Penny left a comment that dovetails remarkably with thoughts I have been struggling to align for over a year. Penny writes: “Hmmm, while I agree with your point about children being autonomous beings, I wonder if that really equates to you needing to get their permission to write about them or really equals some kind of exploitation.


    I am not inappropriately linking sexuality to money for my parents' financial benefit.

    Yes. It is, precisely, some kind of exploitation.

    Some parents sell their children into sexual slavery. (Asia, Africa, Eastern Europe; you know, other places.) Here, we have 150 “A-list” blogger moms selling ad space through media reps. Think I’m kidding?

    “But just as some cringe at Tupperware parties and the like for allowing a commercial enterprise to masquerade as a social one, some find the vast influx of corporate sponsors, freebies and promotions into the blogosphere a bit troubling. Last summer, one blogger organized a weeklong public relations blackout in which bloggers were urged to eschew contests, product reviews and giveaways and instead get “back to basics” by writing about their lives. Another blogger replied that she couldn’t do so because the blackout fell the week of her daughter’s first birthday party, which she was promoting on her blog. With sponsors and giveaways.”

    The article questions if these awkward moments in the capitalization of childhood  ” … might be, in part, because bloggers and corporations are still forging the proper boundaries of their relationship …. ”

    No. It is because of a diagnostic code these parents should be slapped with.

    If selling your kid into prostitution is at one end of the continuum, and the above perhaps two steps toward the middle, the far end is blogging about your child’s adorable yet immature insistence on being so young.

To Mommy-blog or Not to Mommy-blog

MC over in Freemont sums a question writing moms get a lot: How do you feel about writing stories that involve your kids?  Is that territory you would avoid or embrace?

I’ll take “avoid” for five hundred. Parents exist to meet their child’s needs, not the other way around.

(And I would change my title here to “Parent-blog,” more accurately reflecting the growing number of dads getting into the biz. Except that far more people Google “mom blog” than “dad,” and I am trying to build constituents. Keep my crass exploitation methods in mind as I wax more-functional-than-thou.)

  • I do understand, personally and deeply, how childbirth and parenting change people at their core, and how writers need to express those feelings.
  • I also understand the force  zeitgeist plays n scoring a book deal.

I bullet these points to underscore how clearly I get that blogging about my kids (who are cuter and funnier and more brilliant than yours; I’m sorry but that’s just the truth) would be personally and professional beneficial. But these are not things we’ve created.

These are our children.

Children do not have the maturity to understand what it means to be written about. I’m talking sheer brain development, here. Not to be ignored: they (rightfully) depend on parents for survival. Until they are significantly autonomous, it is ludicrous to think that we could ask them for permission and have them do anything except try to please us.

And that’s for the parents who think to ask. It is my experience the most parents still don’t understand that children are not around for  parents to appropriate for their own benefit.

Let’s take the seminal in the field, Anne Lamont’s Operating Instructions. Well written without a doubt, great to read if you are a new parent—helping others! Good! Right?

Not for your child.

So what is so all-fire wrong about sharing darling stories about our freakishly adorable young? Let me have it, right in the comments.